Introduction
The point is to care
Inter- : between, among, amidst, during.
Amor: love.
What is interamory? The short answer is I made it up. Did you know we can do that? The long answer is that interamory is a descriptive framework to help you navigate the ins and outs of all your relationships: platonic, romantic, domestic, and beyond.
In our age of pervasive isolation and loneliness, relationships and connection are at the front of everybody's mind. But because there is little practical consensus on how to proceed, I decided to build my own consensus. This ongoing work is a form of research most closely related to something called “constructivist grounded theory” (Charmaz, 2014), which means I am not concerned with an objective truth in these pages: instead, I am concerned with useful language and common ground. This project captures ideas and patterns that hold up across stories of love and harm in relationships around me, and I have organized its results to create one lens through which all relationships can be more fully seen, understood, and sustained.
The point is to care. That is the maxim that has emerged from this work, as care has been the prevailing theme throughout the stories behind this project. Whether we examine our highest highs or lowest lows, I have found that care is often the mechanism behind the best and worst of our most emotional experiences. But care in this project is not taken as a feeling – it is an action. And like all actions we take, care has an intention and an impact. Every act of care succeeds or fails on the alignment of these two pieces, and understanding this project should help you to understand, articulate, and enact better care with the people you love.
What follows is a working collection of topics that have emerged from the conversation so far. If this work interests you, it is likely because your own experiences have left you with questions you haven't found answers to or answers you haven't found the words for. I hope something here helps you find the language and understandings you need.
- Ryan